Archive for August, 2009

Lions and tigers and Blogs, oh my!

Posted in Uncategorized on August 25, 2009 by doctorbacon

Power Cleanse. That’s what I’ve mistakenly been calling the Master Cleanse, which I started today. The reason behind it you ask? None, really; other than that my roomie just wanted someone to do it with him. For the first day, I can have fruits, veggies, water and juice only. I didn’t know this till around 6 PM. I spent all of today thinking I could only drink water. It didn’t help my day any.

What else happened today? Well, I gathered the stuff I was going to sell at the pawn shop and before I left, I place my laptop oustide the house for the UPS guy to pick up. FINALLY my laptop is going to get fixed! I go to about 3 shops. Best offer? Maybe a quarter of what the stuff was originally worth. Sold a lot of memories, some more sentimental than others… but its okay, I’m gonna add it to my CARS downpayment!

Well, if the government didn’t decide to halt the program. Again.

Okay. Let’s see what I can do. How much can I still get for my car? Oh $700, instead of $4500? And you want how much for a downpayment? Well so much for that. After I’ve already been sweating my tuchus off looking at cars. At least my laptop is on its way to getting fixed.

I get home and walk in the front door and… wait… what’s that on my recliner? WHY IS MY PACKAGE INSIDE? David thought it was a delivery. Ugh… it’s my own fault. I should have told him. I sure would love to eat a big ole piece of meat right now, but I can’t. I can’t eat anything; its water only.

Maybe a nap will help me, cool down. I fall asleep for too long, wake up sweaty, with a crick in my neck, and with a dog’s ass in my face. In the process of me rushing out having to forego a shower, I find out from David I can, in fact, eat particular things today. So I grab an apple an bite into it… you don’t even want to know what I found. If you really do, I took a picture of it with my phone. I take off t o rehearsal. At least I’m not late.

What else can happen? Before we get settled in, the production manager pulls me aside. I’m not getting paid for the show. Ya wanna know why? Welllll I only told a few people about this cause I didn’t want to jinx it but uh…. I’m officially getting my Equity card with this show!

Granted this is good news, actually GREAT, my day was crap before it.  And now I’m at work with a migraine. So the good news won’t settle in till later.

Bul.. meh you know where this is going. That’s it from the pulpit today.


“… and I WANT my nazi Blogs.”

Posted in Uncategorized on August 23, 2009 by doctorbacon

Personally, I find Quentin Tarantino full of himself. I think he’s a self righteous, know-it-all, pompous, egotistical douche. But damn I respect him and enjoy his movies.

I saw Inglourious Basterds yesterday, and I thought it was better than District 9. Sorry, Josh. I’m ready to see it again. I was ready to see it again when the credits began to roll. I wanted more of these characters, all of them. I guess I’ll give a bit of a review of what worked so well for me.


The movie begins with the introduction of the main antagonist, Hans Somethingorother. Lander, I think. Sorry I’m gonna be lazy and not look it up. The actor does such a great job with him and Quentin makes you want to like this monster. This man is called the Jew Hunter and, in this first chapter, he loves it, because he has “earned it”. This man is the antagonist, but you can’t help but like him. He just oozes charm. Well, not charm per se, because people don’t like him. It’s more of an intellectual charm; he disarms you with his social wit. Tarantino even gives the audience a hint as to how clever he is. In his first (of the movie) interrogation a Frenchman asks if he can smoke his pipe. Hans lets him, but also wants to smoke his; its a way of saying, “See? I’m just like you.”

But his pipe dwarfs the French dairyman’s. Yes, I am like you, but I’m a much bigger, more important person. I get what I want. The pipe itself is the hint as to how this man is the German equivalent to a famous detective. If you haven’t figured it out by this point, I’ll just say Katie HOLMES is not a direct descendant of this famous British detective. Mostly cause he is a fictional character, but also because Katie’s a moron-a very attractive moron though, but I digress.

He’s so elegant at what he does; from the beginning, the audience begins to respect him, even after they were already despising him.

What makes this character so full and even more complex is he is a turncoat. This may not make sense unless you see the movie, but I consider him a brave coward. He comes to abhor what he is doing, even saying he hates his given nickname later in the film. He knows he’s on the losing side and wants to be on the winning side. Not only does he “surrender”, he actively helps the Basterds, even though a part of him still wants to defend his country (i.e. killing the actress for being a traitor); he still likes the chase and victory of solving a mystery (the bodies at the tavern). In the restaurant, he asks Milliene to stay behind to chat about the security at her theater and another important question. He asks the waiter to bring her a glass of milk and says he forgot his final question, which must “have not been that important”. I think he’s teasing her. He knows full well that she is Shoshanna (the young girl from the family of Jewish dairy farmers who escaped him at the beginning of the film) and he’s slyly letting her know he’s openly letting her live. He goes so far as to put dynamite in Hitler’s soapbox after he has confiscated it from Aldoe (Brad Pitt), before taking him and another Basterd to a private location where he negotiates his surrender and becomes a hero. A war hero, not the protagonist type of hero. When you get down to it, this colonel is a despicable man, having killed so many Jews; however his love for wanting to understand how people do what they do, and figuring out why overshadows it so much, even his almost proud cowardice and traitorousness (I think I just made a word), you respect the man. Much like how I feel about Tarantino. You find yourself, after the movie, realizing you liked a nazi.

Now he’s not the only reason this movie was great. Brad Pitt turns in one of his few good performances. Man, when Brad is used right, he’s a great actor. This movie is a fine example of how great an actor he can be. Eli Roth was also a compelling actor. Stiglitz was probably my favorite of the Basterds. You know certain characters were going to die, but you still had that glimmer of hope that they just might make it. All the actors. Even the drunk new father nazi soldier at the tavern. I wanted more of EVERYONE. It was like I was at the best buffet ever but was only allowed a bite of each dish. I knew there was more, I COULD SEE there was more, but I couldn’t have it. Please go see this movie. Call me. I’ll go with you.

But don’t pay too much attention to my review, I don’t want to raise your expectations too high the way mine were for District 9. I just want you to give your own review. And I want my nazi reviews.


No good Blog goes unpunished

Posted in Uncategorized on August 22, 2009 by doctorbacon

At work chatting with some pals to help pass the time and I figgerd I would let you know what’s new with me, since I haven’t in awhile. I’ll probably post more often when I’m in rehearsals.

I saw the Vagina Monologues before work. I felt wierd. Women kept shooting me odd looks cause I was the only guy there by myself. It was really awkward. Finally the show started and I was able to shrug it off and enjoy the show. Yesterday, I saw District 9. It was a very good movie. I don’t know if it was the hype or anything but I didn’t quite enjoy it as much as everyone else who has seen it. I can’t put my finger on it, but something just didn’t click for me. Tomorrow I’ll be going to see Inglorious Basterds at Alamo and Sunday I’ll be going to Wicked. I was gonna see I (heart) Walmart, my friends Ben and Laura are in it, but Laura isn’t in it this weekend due to double casting. So the plan is to go the final weekend now.

Go see Vagina Monologues, even if you’re a guy. You might be surprised if you find a connection with the show in some sort of way. I did. And I’ll be honest, I got teary eyed…

Just make sure to bring a lady friend.

Back to the chats.

That’s it from the pulpit today.

You wouldn’t blog me when I’m angry

Posted in Uncategorized on August 19, 2009 by doctorbacon

So I used to think it took a lot to make me angry. I’ve noticed in the past few years that that is not entirely true. While it does take quite a bit to make me angry, some things make me angry right off the bat. Like showing up to work drunk. And high. (And racist.)

I sent him home. Then I got him fired. I don’t have many buttons to push, but please for the love of Mike, don’t push them. This is not the time mess with me.

Moving on.

I don’t mind seeing movies and plays by myself, as previously mentioned. Since the last blog, I saw Aliens in the Attic and G-Force (don’t laugh). I’ve been wanting to see Wicked ever since I first heard of it, and now its in town. I don’t know why, but shows like this I just can’t go see by myself. So, after quite a number of turn downs, I’m going with an old buddy I haven’t hung out with in a LONG time, whom I actually wanted to call first but didn’t. I bought both of our tickets. Man this economy is hurting everybody.

So many of my friends are out of a job. Even my roommate. I don’t mind picking up his part of the rent but it sure isn’t easy.  Everything costs so much. I had to get a loan to get some gas.  If you know of any job openings, let me know and I’ll pass it on to my friends.

In the meantime they can get drunk and high. If you’re into that kind of thing.  It’s not as cheap as it used to be.


Sweating my Blogs off

Posted in Uncategorized on August 10, 2009 by doctorbacon

Hokay. Short and to the point.

I am highly entertained that I just had a weekend of reminiscence and then this past weekend my past came looking for me. I am reconnecting with a lot of old friends from theater in high school, the Genesian Players. Lots of fun, lots of memories.

And my AC unit is busted again. I’m sitting in a pool of sweat right now, its so hot in here. Wires melted in the outside unit; sparks flew and a fire almost started. If it weren’t for the sounds it was making, and my dogs freaking out, I would not have known and who knows what would have happened. I almost went to work for some overtime, too! Sure glad I didn’t/couldn’t.

That’s all from the Pulpit sauna today.

I’m gonna go take a third cold shower.

A very merry unBlogday

Posted in Uncategorized on August 5, 2009 by doctorbacon

Hokay so Frog Prince is over. The feeling of that hasn’t hit me yet, and it won’t till Saturday morning when I will be driving home from work instead of to the theater. Next I’ve got the fund raiser for Trouble Puppet Theater, Getting Yourself Into Trouble. That’s this Thursday; I hope to see you there! After that is a little break and then I start up rehearsals for the Spelling Bee at Zach Scott. Honestly, I forget when it opens but it will run till November. After that is over I (hopefully) will start rehearsing for another puppet show. And sometime in September, thanks to a recommendation from my friend Jenny, I will be doing a shoot for Project Rant. I finally checked out some of their stuff and it looks good. Jenny’s done one, and so have some other old friends like Ben Wolfe, Cyndi Williams, Kelli Bland, and Brad Carlin. Looking forward to all of it.
Moving on.

I have a fair share of friends, but with my schedule its hard to see everyone. Especially since I don’t really have a circle of friends. I’m part of several circle of friends; I don’t really have a gang/crew that I always hang out with. Now don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t bug me, it just adds to how hard it is to hang out with pals. So to remedy this, I’m doing what I can, if you don’t mind. Right now, it would seem like the best option, what with schedules people have, is meeting up for breakfast. I just had breakfast with an old friend the yesterday at Mags. Maybe even go see a movie, but I usually decide on doing that at the last minute, which is why I go alone so often. If breakfast sounds good to you, you wanna do some catching up, and you don’t mind meeting around 7:30, gimme a buzz!

Back to the friend thing real quick. I like to think I have five best friends, no matter how little I see them, no matter how little we talk or know what’s going on in each other’s lives. But one lives in Philly, one lives in New Orleans, one graduated (or left I should say) way before another even started going there, and the last one doesn’t even have anything to do with St. Ed’s, where I grew up, or acting… sort of. They all know each other in some way or other, but have never hung out without me in the equation; though they have their own group of friends they like to do things with, of which I am occasionally involved. Again, this doesn’t bother me in any way whatsoever. I’m just going to shed some light on something some people know about me but don’t really understand. Why I don’t celebrate my birthday or like telling people when it is.

When I was getting a final cast brunch with the Frog Crew, birthdays came up (which is why this topic is on my mind). A lot of my closer friends know (or actually think) I don’t like to celebrate my birthday. I enjoy my birthday, but there are some factors that come into not celebrating. My birthday falls during a holiday, and usually people go out of town or have other plans and so are not available to celebrate with me. Why not just celebrate on a different weekend or something? Yeah I could do that, but I don’t care much for waiting so long, or doing it too early. Also there’s the attention thing. Yeah I like some attention, we all do, but I don’t know why…I can’t handle being the focus for too long. But mainly the reason is, as somewhat alluded to in the previous paragraph, the friend thing.

I would LOVE for someone to throw me a surprise birthday party, but would any of you really know who to invite? There have been two failed attempts at it. My parents tried once, but was all sortsa awkward. Not only did they invite more family than friends (only like two of my friends and the next door neighbor-which admittedly I probably only had two friends anyway), it wasn’t even a surprise. It was more like I got to the party late. I got home after my brother took me to a movie (I turned six); I walked in the front door and the party was already in full swing. The cake was by the door-THAT was the surprise. Being at that age of course, I made everyone hide and turn out the lights so I could leave and come back again for a proper “surprise”.

The next time it was a friend who tried to do it… sheesh that was all sortsa awkward too. This one was actually pulled off (very) well, but the party itself was a fail. So my friend calls me up and asks me to go see some boring movie, I mention how I don’t really want to and she tells me Sacha (one of the afore mentioned best friends), and a girl I said was cute (but didn’t say I was interested in) were coming too. I’m still not interested in the movie I tells her. So she puts cute girl on the phone who then tells me how excited she is to see this movie and I should go I should go I should go blah blah blah. Fine whatever, I give (just please shut the hell up).They come pick me up and on the way, Cristi (the girl who called me-and planned the whole thing) says she forgot her cousin (or some kind of family member) wanted to go and we have to go back to her apartment to pick’em up. So we go back to her place. First let me give you the set up of her apt. It’s one of those where its living room/front door and kitchen are in an open L shape, hugging the bedroom/bathroom… if that makes sense. We go in and she tells me to go get her a drink to sneak in the movie real quick from her fridge for her. I turn the corner and the kitchen is full of people who yell, “SURPRISE!”

Throughout the night, everyone talks about how my look of surprise seemed more like I was confused. I tell them its cause I was confused! Even though they shouted surprise, I had honestly forgotten it was my birthday and I was just thinking how this was a crap load of people to see one boring movie.

But yeah, how was it a fail? Well, it sure as hell didn’t feel like it was my party, let alone birthday party. Apparently, Cristi didn’t know who to invite (there’s the friend thing!), so she invited all of her friends. I didn’t even know some of them; it felt like I crashed some random party. On top of that, some of the attendees were people I wasn’t a big fan of.

What I’m trying to say is, if you don’t know who I call my friend, and I mean REALLY know, don’t throw me a party, surprise or otherwise. Even though I would love for this to happen, I know not to hold my breath. Some things just won’t happen, no matter how POTENTIALLY good it could be.

So when is my birthday? I’m still not telling you. Trust me, I’m doing us both a favor.


Little Blog of Horrors

Posted in Uncategorized on August 2, 2009 by doctorbacon

It’s 5 in the morning here at work. Things are slowing down before the morning rush, and I’ve been sitting here bathing myself in memories. The sound of, “Give me a live f-ing human being, computer!” snaps be back to reality.

I didn’t realize I was going to have such a nostalgic weekend. I saw Into the Woods, which is the first Zilker show I saw, and where I found my first two roommates/tenants from when I used to own a house-one of which lead to the loss of my house(but I digress). Then there was Sweeney and Little Shop; Sweeney being the first show I saw in Austin and Little Shop being especially close to my heart. It was the last show as a senior in high school. I was nominated for being the entire male chorus at St. Ed’s, and formed friendships with Cochon (Wow wow!) and Chachi (Yip Yip Yip!). I’ve been watching some old Popeye toons, which is probably the cartoon which influenced my interest in cartoon history the most. I’ve been eating the ox tail soup, of which I had the last serving about an hour ago, which reminds me of home and Ma’s cooking in general. Frog Prince is ending, and that just makes me think of all the other kids shows I’ve done.

I’m not really going anywhere with this. I’m just enjoying, I guess, the breeze time leaves as it passes us by so quickly. We get older, but we will always have the memories, good or bad, to hold onto. “Some wounds cannot heal, and lead us to drink without regret. One drink to remember, then another to forget. We forget because we must, for Fate can be mercilessly unjust.”

Yeah, that’s not the happiest of quotes, but I like how it refers to the bad memories. They help make us who we are. That one part “one drink to remember”… It’s like, “I want to forget the pain, I don’t want to think about it, but I don’t want to let go of the memory.” I don’t like thinking about having lost my house, but damn I had a good time there while it lasted. Or maybe I’m alone on that thought. I dunno.

I was gonna talk about Sweeney and Little Shop, but I think I’m not necessarily going to give my two pennies as originally planned. I talked about Sweeney with some friends yesterday, talking about worked and what didn’t, performers whom I liked and didn’t. Then I got called out on my criticism. “Are you just saying that because you thought you would have been better?” (or something like that).

I know it was said in jest, but he had a point. Maybe I was. Actually, for one of the characters, yeah, I subconsciously was, but that’s not what’s important. I’m not a critic, so I’m not going to criticize. I am, however, a patron, so I will patronize (as in support, not be condescending). The shows are fun and entertaining. Go watch them and support your friends. Make a date out of it. Get an early dinner, go see the show, and maybe end the night with some bowling or miniature golf or something. It’ll be a memory you won’t soon forget.

Okay, the morning rush is starting a little early, and I need to do my shift report and other duties, so I guess I leave you with a bit of a toast to time/memories:
All my love to long ago;
to days yet to come.