Shh… put your blogs on, we’re going outside…
I just logged in at work, started taking calls, and am listening to the BioShock 2 soundtrack. Call me geeky (sometimes cheeky), but I find it surprising how we live in a day where music from a video game can evoke sadness, let alone any type of an emotional response.
But I digress.
This has been a bit of a rough week. On top of some depressing personal news, my laptop is messed up (again), I lost my glasses-and I’m on my only pair of contact lenses, there was a payroll mistake at work that affected everyone, and I didn’t get cast in The Drowsy Chaperone over at Zach. (Ugh-11:11-don’t ask if you don’t know what I’m talking about)
There’s a few things that makes it harder to… deal?… accept?… I can’t think of the word, but something along those lines. What makes it hard to (insert right word here) that I didn’t get cast are things like: I didn’t really want to audition to begin with but some other people encouraged me-convinced that I would be cast, the choreographer knows I have a hard time with his steps, I kinda knew the only character I really fit was probably too old for me, the two people who were convinced I was cast but not them were in fact cast… and I got cocky. I can’t even remember the last time I auditioned for a theater production and didn’t get cast-even for a particular part I wanted. That’s a humbling blow-and I think I needed it.
It happened to me once in high school. I got all kinds of cocky at the audition and was expecting to get a certain role (much like I started to at the Drowsy callbacks); the director, I think, chose not to cast me to teach me a lesson. In this profession, it doesn’t matter how good you are, you’re not always gonna get what you want-you might not even get anything. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I am an amazing actor, I just started to… get lazy I guess? I dunno. Man I’m really at a loss for words this week. But I’ve been getting every role I set my eye on for a few years now… hell, I’ve even had some roles just handed to me. Yes, that’s not always a bad thing, its just… I promised myself I would never become the cocky a-hole. There’s such a fine line between confident and cocky, and I was waaaaaay on the wrong side.
I’m kinda ramblin on; what I’m trying to get to here, kind of a roundabout way of saying it is:
That’s all I’m really trying to say.
I kid. That was just a little song reference for ya. What I’m really trying to say is, I’m okay with not being cast; I just don’t like it and I think the timing sucks… although I did say I prefer (or is it perfer?) to get the bad news all at once. Hopefully there’s some good news “just around the river bend”… (jeez, why did I quote Pocahantes?)
That’s all from the Pulpit today.